Creating, Maintaining, and Protecting Your Safe Space


The other day I received an e-mail that contained this quote:

Are you willing to  claim your personal space and territory? To take action to understand and fulfill your authentic needs?

The e-mail came from a shamanic healing group that was hosting a workshop on the relationship between the predator and prey. What I appreciate about Shamanism is that it uses patterns in nature as a spiritual teaching guide. The relationship between the predator and prey is no different in nature than it is in human relationships. Especially when it comes to personal territory and our need to maintain our safety.

I’ve been doing a lot of meditating on my “safe space” recently due to many of the things I’ve experienced these past six months. I’ve also been meditating on claiming what is mine.  The polarity of my nature has required me to try to find balance between extremes. On one hand I am open, accepting, and allowing of others to flow freely and be their authentic selves within my space. On the other hand I require peace, balance, and a certain level of solitude.  Rather than maintain balance I’ve leaned too far left, causing those I’ve allowed into my life to encroach, and ultimately destroy, my safe space. As I reflect on this I find it very surprising. Though usually tolerant the one thing I absolutely do not compromise  on is the peace and harmony of my space.  I’ve stopped people dead in their tracks and/or removed them from my life when I realized that their actions were compromising the peace, harmony, and balance of my environment. I’ve done the same for those that have found themselves drawn to me but whose interest carried an energy (and intention) that disrupted the harmony in my romantic relationship. Yet I realize that my diligence in maintaining this important boundary has waned significantly over the past few months and the consequences have been devastating.

As I meditate on what it is about myself that has allowed this I’ve found two things to be true. My desire to be of assistance to others had caused me to ignore my intuition and very obvious red flags. Also, spending a year living with several different unhealthy people had  distracted me from being able to recognize and had desensitized me to the chaotic and destructive energy that was filtering into my life. And my spirit. A person cannot live (or be) in a space without turning it into what they are. It’s the nature of our spiritual energy to manifest itself in the physical world. Because of this I’ve realized that when living in communal situations it’s important for everyone’s intentions to be aligned. This is the only way to retain balance. And when a new person or energy is added to the mix then that energy must bend to the collective, or the collective must bend to that new energy depending on which is stronger. When it comes to an individual space it’s important to maintain your own equanimity so that it reflects in your environment. And it’s just as important to always require those wanting to be invited into your space to establish their intentions so that it is made sure that they are aligned  and are in harmony with yours.

As I awaken to a heightened sense of awareness and connect to the primal energy within myself I am able to better identify how I relate to my territory, my “safe space”. I look to myself for creating and maintaining it and I’m much more grounded in protecting what I have claimed as mine without having to sacrifice parts of myself in order to do so. And all coming from a place of non-harming. In this way it’s completely possible to be open while at the same time establishing boundaries.


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