I have slowly been awakening my power, the force of which is immensely strong. At times so strong that it’s overwhelming, even scary. I’ve been able to do things that are outside the bounds of normal explanation. I’ve had strange experiences that would make me seem crazy. Yes it’s not my nature to deny who I am no matter how odd I may appear to others. I simply try to understand who I am and my place in the world so that I can move in my highest truth.
Mixed with my spiritual power is my strong magnetic field. I attract people to me all the time no matter what I do or if I intend to or not. This has always been the case with me. What’s strange about this is how I have many acquaintances and very few friends. Or how I often find myself in a group but not part of that group. I’m instinctively aware of my auric pull but I’ve only recently seen it demonstrated.
Since I’ve been back to California I’ve reconnected with one of my best friends. She’s such a fun, beautiful spirit–very grounded and very intellectual. Though we hadn’t seen or talked to each other much since I moved to Vegas it didn’t seem to matter as we fell back into hanging out like we used to in our college days. What’s interesting is how we’ve grown in the same direction without influencing each other. Our spiritual, artistic, personal philosophy, and even our eating/exercising patterns are in alignment. She’s an amazing friend and I’ve been grateful for her presence as I go through this transitional stage in my life.
She invited me up to Los Angeles to attend an open mic and spend new year’s eve with her which I happily accepted since there isn’t much going on in Redlands where I’m currently staying. The open mic was amazing and I had fun chilling with my friend doing whatever we were moved to do in the spirit. What I noticed about our interaction was how synced we were. We allowed each other the space to move freely and openly and there were plenty of moments where we were literally in each other’s heads, seemingly reading minds and finishing each other’s sentences.
The catalyst occurred new years eve. We spent the entire evening drawing and channeling our energy through food (cooking), art, music, meditation, and burning sage, incense, and candles. We made it to midnight and eventually fell asleep but I was awoken in the middle of the night by her restless energy. She was wide awake and I was completely open spiritually so I could feel what she wanted even though she wasn’t speaking out loud. I still can’t adequately explain what transpired that night. We had a conversation that wasn’t completely verbal. I saw her without seeing her. There were moments where I tapped into her and she was fully aware of it. And she expressed to me that she literally felt pulled to me like a magnet. It was the first time ever that anyone has been able to communicate my auric field and the feelings they get from it.
Needless to say our friendship (and we) transcended that night. We crossed a threshold that would have been too much for most people however we fully understood the significance and the necessity of our actions. What makes it even more phenomenal is that my friend has never had any inclinations towards women prior to me. And neither of us has ever given off any vibe that we were sexually attracted to each other so that’s how I know that we were moved spiritually. Our intentions were pure. I appreciate that we created that safe space where we allowed each other to move respectfully but without limits. And for the first time I was able to see my power and fully grasp its magnitude
Many indigenous cultures teach about the Gatekeeper. The Gatekeeper is a physically and/or energetically androgynous being that can tap into the Otherworld, the in-between space between the physical and spiritual. The energetic androgyny of the Gatekeeper is significant because it represents the power of Oneness, the blending of the masculine and feminine into one spirit. Much of their power lies in their androgyny. They are the highest healers, shamans, dreamers, diviners, and guardians. Some say that to a Gatekeeper sexuality is nothing more than a choice of action, merely a preference. Sexuality is an extension of their spiritual being and is channeled thus. If their sexual energy is not used then a blockage occurs that will eventually require expression–sexual expression of course since physically touching another causes energy to flow. The role of the Gatekeeper is to heal and help others on the path to their divine purpose. A relationship and connection with Gatekeeper may or may not be permanent, something he/she fully understands. A Gatekeeper serves until their role in that person’s life has been fulfilled and they move on. Or they may enter and exit a person’s life as needed.
A detail I find very interesting is the magnetism of the Gatekeeper. People are pulled to these beings with a strong desire to “merge” with them. A lot of times a person doesn’t fully understand why they are drawn to the Gatekeeper, they just know they have a very strong urge to seek out the Gatekeeper and explore the connection. But even that act is spiritual in nature. To explore a connection with a Gatekeeper is to invoke power into one’s own being. A way to balance polarity , open up to the Universe, and to tap into mystical powers. The willingness to explore a connection with the Gatekeeper is viewed as a spiritual journey in which one walks into the realm of the unknown in order for the soul to grow.
Now I’m not professing myself a Gatekeeper. Though I do possess a lot of the characteristics of such a being it’s not my place to name myself one. However I do know who and what I am and what I am capable of spiritually. A lot of past situations with how people have reacted when they find themselves drawn to me make sense now. And after my recent experience I have a much better understanding of my place within the connections I share with others.
This experience also taught me how vital it is for me to be able to have the freedom and space to fully explore my connections with others. Each connection is a lesson, a potential for spiritual growth so long as the intentions are authentic, pure, and coming from a healthy place with non-harming as the principal aim. To not allow yourself to investigate a connection with another, or to be restricted in your ability to move within that connection is a sure way to stifle evolving as a spiritual and human being. Another important lesson is receptivity. The power of the healing energy we created was increased because of how receptive we were to what we manifested. We both were completely open, no blockages. I realize that I diminish my own power by projecting it where it is not received.
I am extremely grateful for this lesson as it has provided me with a very clear understanding of myself. And most importantly I have a better understanding of how to handle my spiritual relationships with others.