Personal Liberty Rant 10/7: deja vu and lessons learned from the past

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I realize that it’s been several months since I’ve ranted on this blog. I guess it would be considered a great thing that my life has been balanced (and drama free) enough that I haven’t had anything set me off in almost eight months.

Calm and peaceful my life has been. Then all of a sudden I find myself thrown into a thunderstorm. I’m in the middle of bad break-up drama. Only problem is I was never in a relationship. I’m single and have been for the past two years.  It would appear that I’m going through it with someone I was never “with” to begin with.

Our recent exchanges are reminiscent of an all too familiar situation. A situation I experienced once and vowed never to repeat.  Thank the heavens for lessons learned, and maturity. Both have taught me how to recognize what is and accept it. They have also taught me how and when to disengage.

When I analyze the situation objectively I’m aware of a lot of different things. The main issues are projection and ego. There’s a constant need for the other person to project their insecurities onto others. There’s also the assumption that others have the same attachment to their egos as they do. However, I’m confident in my stance. More importantly I’m confident in my insight. And experience has allowed me to understand the wisdom of picking and choosing my battles. My ego isn’t validated by being right. A dharma teacher once stated that he could be right or he could be free. He chooses to be free. I’m inclined to agree with that.

I find so many interesting things about our current interaction…

Like how important it is to pay attention to how a person responds to kindness. If they take advantage of it, or treat it as though it’s a weakness then that reveals a lot about their character. If anything a person will learn about me it is that I am not weak. By any means…

Like how a person can assume that they know you or where your head is at. That’s always the first mistake in any relationship. The second mistake is generalizing someone, rather than treating them like they are an individual case…

Like how a person can push you to the point where you lose patience and then be surprised when you push back and distance yourself…

Like how big our sense of entitlement can be. It amazes me how people expect so much from others, yet are not willing to  give back in return. Nor are they willing to put forth the effort they expect to get from others. No one is required to give you anything. Nor is anyone required to take your shit…

Like how a person will mask cruelty in the guise of being honest. But what trips me out is that when you return that same “honesty” you are accused to attacking them, playing the guilt trip, or initiating an argument. Life is all about the energy you put out into the universe, especially in your interactions with others. People will typically treat you the way that you treat them…

I think the biggest thing I’ve learned is what can happen when you take power out of another’s hands and place it back into your own. Especially when that person has a strong need to control. And especially when that person has underestimated you. This is what I have done and the result is a whirlwind of anger and hostility from the other person. There is lots of confusion and mixed messages on their part as well. As for me, I’m sad that things turned out the way they did but I’m not devastated. All it did was reveal a person’s true intentions. It also revealed how much I’ve grown on my journey in how I handle relationships.

I am thankful for the lesson.

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