On A Personal Note 4~16~12: reflections

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I haven’t blogged in almost two weeks. It’s certainly not for lack of having things to write about but because I started a new job and also because I’ve been spending all my free with time with someone I met last month.

To describe this person, I’m not even sure how to begin. She’s a fellow poet, one  I met at an open mic. She’s  a natural beauty and a total free spirit who lives in the moment. She’s very perceptive and humble. What I appreciate the most about her is that  she is extremely intelligent, someone who can discuss philosophy, astronomy, and physics as easily as most people are able to talk about the latest reality tv show. She possesses a certain level of emotional honesty and willingness to be vulnerable that is refreshing to be around.

We’ve hung out almost every single day since that first night. We have a lot in common, get along great, and enjoy each other’s company. We have  fun doing random things, our time together is filled with lots of laughs. We also talk, a lot. Our discussions are always open, honest, and insightful.

I think what draws me to her (besides the obvious) is that she’s teaching me many new things.  In less than a month she’s taken me to experience places in this city that I never knew existed. And I’ve lived here for almost five years. We’ve visited a Thai Buddhist temple, gone dancing at a county bar, hit up open mics, and randomly driven to Hoover Dam together to watch the sunset. Even with all the things we’ve already done we are planning many more.

Being around her has provided me with an entirely new perspective on life, relationships, and my sexuality. It’s like we’re dating though we’re far from calling it that. As a matter of fact we have both refrained from labeling what we’re doing or what is between us. Neither one of use is looking for a relationship right now.  We’re just enjoying establishing the friendship with no expectations or worries, something I haven’t experiences since high school.

It’s reminiscent of my high school sweetheart. He was my first everything and the one person I always, to this day, wonder how I got involved with. When we met we both had crushes on other people–hanging out together when our interests weren’t available. It freely developed into an easy friendship that morphed into a relationship. Though it contained all the trails and tribulations of a teenagers go at a committed relationship what I missed about the person I was at that time was how trusting and open I was to loving someone. Heartbreak quickly killed that type of innocence towards love and I haven’t been that way since but I do miss being that carefree. I feel like I’m getting that back now.

I’ve been involved with women before but not like this. It’s a very interesting experience. I’m realizing that there are a lot of things about my own sexuality that I don’t know. It’s like I’m learning the rules all over again.

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