“If I’m Not Your 1st Choice Then I’m No Choice”

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I have to credit lots of interesting dialog for the inspiration behind many of these posts I’ve been writing lately. Yesterday’s topic was dating. While talking with a friend she expressed feeling some sorta way about a guy she used to date now being in a relationship with someone else. They dated for a while.  She put a lot of time and energy into the interaction only to receive a lot of excuses from him on why it couldn’t go to the next level. Needless to say the situation climaxed into a pretty big blow-up that ended what might have been. Now, a few months later, dude is in a relationship and my friend is left wondering what so many women can’t help but wonder in such circumstances; why her and not me?

This isn’t an isolated event. I’m not sure if people are getting a super jump-start on pulling out the summer cards or if it’s the euphoria of Valentine’s Day but there seems to be an epidemic of men jumping into these random relationships. It even happened on me. A guy I’ve been light weight talking to for the past couple of months decided to cuff a women he’s been involved with for three weeks. Luckily for me I caught on to some red flags early on which gave me the sense to fall back so I wasn’t much surprised or at all bothered by the changed FB relationship status. The logic behind getting into a relationship with someone you’ve barely had the time to establish anything with completely escapes me, but I digress.

Call it my “all or nothing” attitude or a Leo’s pride but playing runner-up has never sat well with me. I have never nor would I ever settle for being second place to anyone, especially when it comes to a relationship. My stance is this; I don’t have to be the center of your world but I damn sure better be the most important thing in it. I am fully aware of my worth. I know what kind of woman I am and all that I have to bring to the table. I have absolutely no desire to prove to someone that I am good enough. If they can’t see that then the loss is theirs.

In none of my dating situations, as few as they’ve been, have I ever sat around waiting to get chose either. I’ve noticed that men have this tendency to keep a “team” of women on deck in case things don’t work out with the one he’s in a relationship with. Or if he’s single he’ll get involved with someone just deep enough to where he has the benefits of a girlfriend without any intention or desire to commit to the woman. I call this the Recess Chick, the woman he plays with on break in between relationships. On one hand many men are misleading in their intentions and on the other hand many women settle for these situations. The settling is what I don’t understand. Hell, I’ve observed one woman who wasn’t the first, or the second, or even the third on dude’s list. She was slept on and played to the left and was still happy to accept his invitation after waiting a few years to be the very last one he picked to be with. But hey, to each his/her own. She’s much better than me though.

If I’m not your first choice then I’m no choice. A person only gets one chance to pass me over, even if that means I miss out on the opportunity when or if they decide they wanted me after all. Even if that means that I remain single. No need for a relationship is ever strong enough to make me so desperate  that I would  settle for a person who made me anything less than their first choice. Life is way too short for that.

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One thought on ““If I’m Not Your 1st Choice Then I’m No Choice”

  1. It’s a horrible situation being second best, epexially if it happens again and again -like being third or even firth best in a girls mind.
    My own partner of 19yrs (we have 3 kids and 1 grandson)finished me on several occasions during the first few weeks of our relationship -the so called “honeymoon” period when it’s meant to be at its greatest and most promising between a couple, she buggered of to other lads houses on several occasions, lied about her virginity -clearly she wasn’t a virgin -she said I was “her first” but that would mean she would be sexually immature but she was as aware and “vaginally open” as a 30yr old mother of three -hardly what you would call a virgin body and mindset.
    she smoked a joint with one of these lads she chose over me even though she would never do and get stoned amicably that with me, she on another occasion told me we were finished again and I was pleading with her heartbroken pleading to get back with me she looked my Colby and determinedly is the eyes over and over again and said she met someone and she said to me definitively we’re not getting back together and said to me and I quote “but I really like him” it was not til later after this thug yobbo treat her like the slut she was that she came back to me like I was some kind of last resort, a lower second choice or some kind of pitiful charity case- I will never forget it or forgive her after nearly 20yrs.
    The reason this is important is that sex is none existent -has been for abou 10 f*cking years , I initiate EVERYTHING, blowjobs are like a solar eclipse and come around every few years, she even reached (was nearly sick) once when going down me, I disgust her but she pretends that she was a virgin and I was her first, Lol. That I was NOT her second choice and that this evil lads she met and times she finished me were just mere mistakes, purebred undeniable signs of a women of guilt scared to admit to ANTHING.
    I MASTURBATE OVER ITHER WOMEN BECAUSE I KNOW AT LEAST THEY ARE FRESH AND NEW, I ADMIT TO THAT -BUT SHE PRETENDS SHE HAS NO FANTASISIES OF ITHER MEN AT ALL, DOES NIT DREAM ABOUT OTHER MALES AND STILL HAS AS MUCH LUST AND PASSIONS FOR ME AS THE DAY WE MET, SHE IS A JOKE AND I HATE HER FOR IT.

    Don’t accept this from women men or from men women , don’t be a second choice knowing your partner is obviously dreaming about other people secretely…

    http://www.koryryanauthor.com/not-her-first-choice-tell-bitch-get-lost/

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