The Lure Of The Unattainable


You couldn’t imagine how badly I wanted you…

It’s impossible for us to be within close proximity of each other. The chemistry between us is enough to ignite a science lab. We try to keep things respectful and innocent but one exchanged glance , a whisper in the ear, a smile, a single touch is enough to set us both off. In a crowded room I always catch him watching me.  The way he looks at me, the way he says my name leaves no doubt as to how much he wants me. As for me, I admit without shame that I’ve never desired anyone as much as I desire him. The only problem with this entire scenario is that he’s not single.

Though you weren’t mine…

Desire, but it’s so much for than sexual. We talk, a lot. Complete honest communication. I’ve written and performed poetry about him. When he tells me how beautiful I am it’s not his words but the way he looks at me that confirms his sincerity. We’re open with each other  in a way that’s reckless. We’re both well aware of the fact that crossing the line would never end well for either of us.

You said we’d be dangerous and that was no lie.

So we pretend to be “just friends” , doing a piss poor job of it. What is it exactly? We wanted each other from the moment we met, before I knew he was attached. But does the fact that we can’t have each other make us want it more?

I caught the way you’d look at me, desire just barely held in check. Such apparent chemistry. And yet…

It’s natural instinct for us to want what we can’t have but I’ve yet to figure out why this is so. Is it the anticipation? The mystery? The simple fact that the focus of our desire is not in our possession?

In my heart I wanted to take it there. Yours was a place I needed to go to…

And what happens when we finally get what we want? Does it change the dynamic of the desire? Most of the time when we finally obtain our hearts desire we find that it wasn’t what we wanted after all.

Such a hard man to say no to, but I had to…

In this case I know that (as it stands now) I could never have him the way that I want.

Because I knew exactly what you meant by dangerous…

I wish understanding that fact made me not want him as badly as I do but it doesn’t.


One thought on “The Lure Of The Unattainable

  1. This is written very well and your style just right in to the post. In terms of wanting what we can’t have it comes down to value. Scarcity and abundance coupled with our desire for something sets the value of it. The more scarce it is and the more we want it, the higher the value. Water isn’t valuable until it becomes scarce. The same goes for air. Diamonds are extremely scarce and are in high demand which makes them very valuable. Thanks for sharing!

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