I always laugh a little on the inside when someone tells me that I’m patient because, truthfully, I’m really not. I am one of the most impatient people you will ever meet, especially when it comes to getting something I want. I guess I just hide it better than most. So what does that have to do with anything? Well….
…because I have a crush.
Yes, Toya J has a crush on someone. One of those sad-awkward-butterflies in the stomach-almost obsessive-adolescent type crushes. One of those crushes that’s so junior high schoolesque that the fact that I’m 28 damn years old makes it all the more pathetic. The only thing that saves my pride is the fact that the guy I have a crush on is feeling me too.
So now that I’ve determined that I really want this dude things aren’t happening fast enough for me. He’s made it clear that he’s interested in me but he’s taking his time. I get the feeling that part of it is that he’s a little shy and the other part is that he’s feeling me out. Now normally I don’t have a problem initiating or doing the chasing but in this case I’ve come to realize that being my usual aggressive self might not be the best way to go about this. I feel like a lack of patience will backfire on me, causing things to fizzle out before they really have a chance to get going. Actually, I’m convinced that it will.
What’s ironic is that my crush is teaching me a very valuable lesson in patience. It also drives home the reasons for my six month dating moratorium. At the time I decided to go on my dating break I wasn’t getting involved with the right kind of people. A lot of that was because I was doing too much too fast, not allowing things to naturally progress. I found myself in a lot of bad situations as a result. Now that I took the time to get my head together it doesn’t make sense to turn around and start falling back into the same habits-habits that weren’t working for me to begin with.
It also hit me, that I need to trust the process. Or more importantly, I need to trust the person (people) I’m interacting with. They know what they are doing. They don’t need my help or meddling. Besides, I always get what I want regardless of how long it takes 😉
So….patience it is.