If It’s Not Fun, Then What’s The Point?


We all deserve to be happy. Our ability to be happy has mostly to do with our frame of mind,  how we internalize our experiences. Yet a bit of it is tied to our relationship with others, how we interact with the people in our lives.

There was a short period where my friend and I weren’t getting along. Every conversation seemed to turn into an argument. We couldn’t communicate without creating tension and frustration. At a certain point, my friend made a statement that stuck with me.

“If we’re fighting all the time then what’s the point?”

The wisdom in such a simple statement was enough to make me sit down, shut up, and really think. I mean, the comment was a valid one. If all we were doing was arguing what was the point? I had to admit to myself that there wasn’t one.  No sane person wants to deal with someone they always fight with. The realization was enough to make me shift how I responded to them.

It also made me think about how it applied to all of my relationships, or rather the ones I am in control of. When dealing with friends, family, and significant others things won’t always be perfect. You will not always get along. You will be challenged.  You will have conflicts. That is a fact. I don’t believe that a person should cut a person off over a few disagreements but when the bad times are more frequent than the good and things stop being fun, then what is the got damn point of maintaining a relationship with that person?

We cannot be happy nor balanced if we are in constant conflict with the people in our lives. Our relationships should contribute to our happiness, not hinder it. If they aren’t fun then what positive purpose could they possibly serve?

Absolutely none.


3 thoughts on “If It’s Not Fun, Then What’s The Point?

  1. I want to say I agree with you but I don’t think I can. Why? Because I feel that is what’s wrong with society today, we cannot figh for anything. We want to be happy all the time and whil that is understandable its not reality. Life & relationships are hard and will ALWAYS be hard. But the strenght of a relationship comes from how you’ve come through the fire. Now there is a difference between fighting for and putting up with & only you can know the difference (that comes with self-realization). I judt hate when people are so quick to throw in the towel b/c they’re “not happy”. I know how some people can say, you don’t know my story and you’re right, I don’t. What I do know is you can’t always quit just b/c its (friend or lover) no longer making you smile.

    • I did acknowledge that relationships with others won’t always be easy and carefree. And I also mentioned that I don’t believe that one should cut someone off over a few disagreements. HOWEVER, if the conflicts are too frequent and the relationship no longer makes a person happy then why continue?

      It’s my opinion that our culture (specifically Black culture) over glorifies the “struggle”. Too often we make ourselves the martyr. We hold on to this idea that if it’s not hard, if we aren’t suffering, if there’s no fight to it then it’s not worthwhile and I quite honestly think that such a mentality is dysfunctional. It’s precisely why we allow ourselves to maintain unhappy relationships.

      “But the strength of a relationship comes from how you’ve come through the fire” >this is not always true. The strength of a relationship comes from how you’ve grown in that relationship and the lessons you’ve taken from it. Struggle or no struggle.

    • Good Afternoon, I am going to roll with Toya on this one…

      I like a good fight (physical, verbal or whatever…), on my terms…

      More importantly… I like 95% peace & bliss in my relations…

      Alot of negroes strive & thrive off of unnecessary adversity… That is their business, albeit dumb…

      If what you are doing is not working… get some help & work it out…

      There is so many facets to this but I will leave it at that…

      Good wisdom from your friend Toya

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