Love is a curious thing. It changes as we change. Metamorphosing as our paradigms shift. Our capacity to love and the way in which we go about it has a lot to do with who we are on the inside. This I have come to understand.
When we are young we tend to love immaturely. It’s more about us, our ego. Our needs. We want to own our partner. We treat them like a possession. Young love is often reckless, passionate, and full of drama. Our love is characterized by our youth, our naivety and lack of wisdom and the way our relationships play out are determined by how we handle them, or mishandle them. With enough time and enough mistakes we tend to gather our experiences. Those of us with enough clarity will redefine what love means to us based off past patterns. As we settle into maturity the way we love has less to do with ownership and more to do with companionship. Our egos take a back seat as we focus more on the person we are in love with. As our need for control simmers down so does the drama. We work to cultivate a friendship within the romantic relationship, focusing on the things that help to sustain a solid foundation. This I have seen.
My love has transformed into the kind that is simple, free, and nurturing. It’s not about ownership or being owned nor is it about being in control. It’s at a point where it’s more patient, content to be in the present moment instead of worrying about the future. My love doesn’t need to get its way. It doesn’t require a specific outcome and it doesn’t desire drama. It requires friendship and happiness. With everything I’ve been through I’ve learned to be cautious and yet the way I love is still whimsical. I think my tendency to flow wherever life takes me will never change. I still like to ride the train to see where it will take me. But I am now able to recognize when it is time to get off that train. I have a feeling that no matter how my life’s journey unfolds the way in which I love will always be strong, deep, and passionate because that is the core of my essence. This I am learning.