One of the very few silver linings of
repeatedly getting your heart broken is that it affords you the wisdom and maturity to appreciate the Nice Guy. Yeah it’s true that assholes have a certain appeal. They can be an unpredictable and exciting challenge. Truth be told, no woman wants a simp, a man they can completely run right over all the time. Yet the need for a stimulating challenge leads many of us to look in the worst possible direction. We pass over the Nice Guy for the Habitual Jerk. We don’t respect the Nice Guy. We barely show him any attention. Even worse is when we hold out on the Nice Guy, yet will turn around and expect him to be that shoulder to cry on when the Asshole does us dirty.
Sad but true.
At some point many of us grow tired of dealing with the Asshole because we realize that we deserve more. We see that what we mistakenly took for a challenge was really an unhealthy relationship. Then there are some who never make this discovery, spending their entire lives chasing after the Asshole. Constantly getting hurt and eventually becoming bitter.
In my world, nice guys don’t finish last. I’ve learned to appreciate them. While it’s true that my dominant nature absolutely loves a challenge, my sense of self-worth demands that I cultivate relationships with people who treat me well. Though I’m learning that there are Nice Guys out there that propose a challenge.
I think that when you find yourself settling for the same type of people or situations that repeatedly don’t work out for you then some self examination is needed. Not saying that a person should beat themselves up for landing in certain situations. I’m saying that one should pay attention to the people they are choosing to interact with and how those interactions end up. If the pattern tends to be a negative one, then a change is in order. Sometimes the best thing a person can do is step outside their comfort zone and switch up the type of person they choose to interact with. Otherwise, one will never grow within their relationships. But more importantly, continuing in negative relationships damages the heart.
So now, I look for the Nice Guy. I make time for him. I go out of my way for him and I’m kind to him. I give him the respect and attention he deserves and I treat him well because the action is reciprocated. I do it because I am a firm believer that you get the same energy back that you put out into the universe and because I’m one of those Nice Guys, and I don’t want to finish last.