Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last


One of the very few silver linings of repeatedly getting your heart broken is that it affords you the wisdom and maturity to appreciate the Nice Guy. Yeah it’s true that assholes have a certain appeal. They can be an unpredictable and exciting challenge. Truth be told, no woman wants a simp, a man they can completely run right over all the time. Yet the need for a stimulating challenge leads many of us to look in the worst possible direction. We pass over the Nice Guy for the Habitual Jerk. We don’t respect the Nice Guy. We barely show him any attention. Even worse is when we hold out on the Nice Guy, yet will turn around and expect him to be that shoulder to cry on when the  Asshole does us dirty.

Sad but true.

At some point many of us grow tired of dealing with the Asshole because we realize that  we deserve more. We see that what we mistakenly took for a challenge was really an unhealthy relationship. Then there are some who never make this discovery, spending their entire lives chasing after the Asshole. Constantly getting hurt and eventually becoming bitter.

In my world, nice guys don’t finish last. I’ve learned to appreciate them.  While it’s true that my dominant nature absolutely loves a challenge, my sense of self-worth demands that I cultivate relationships with people who treat me well. Though I’m learning that there are Nice Guys out there that propose a challenge.

I think that when you find yourself settling for the same type of people or situations that repeatedly don’t work out for you then some self examination is needed.  Not saying that a person should beat themselves up for landing in certain situations. I’m saying that one should pay attention to the people they are choosing to interact with and how those interactions end up. If the pattern tends to be a negative one, then a change is in order. Sometimes the best thing a person can do is step outside their comfort zone and switch up the type of person they choose to interact with. Otherwise, one will never grow within their relationships. But more importantly, continuing in negative relationships damages the heart.

So now, I look for the Nice Guy. I make time for him. I go out of my way for him and I’m kind to him. I give him the respect and attention he deserves and I treat him well because the action is reciprocated. I do it because I am a firm believer that you get the same energy back that you put out into the universe and because I’m one of those Nice Guys, and I don’t want to finish last.


5 thoughts on “Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last

  1. (I have something interesting (I would say BIG, but given my track record… I will temper it with interesting…) to discuss with you & another privately…)

    Skip me on that one… I am done being the proverbial nice guy… This type of guy will not win in my lifetime… Maybe my grandkids could win with that kind of mindset…

    I will be becoming/breeding either spectacular as$holes or super attractive gentlemen… My phases in life will move from one to the other…

    They both win & don’t end up getting played or harbor resentment with/for women….

      • I like you Jeane… I really do, I do I like to be honest with you without the meanness… (So, take the meanness out of this message 🙂 )

        But it is easy for a woman who is pushing 30 to tell me how Nice Guy are all of a sudden fantastic… (saving grace… You have no kids)

        I respect the teenagers & 20-somethings who get it right the first time…

        Oh and looking back on the girls that broke my heart… They weren’t as$holes, just LSE ridden & just deeply troubled… Speaks volumes about me…

      • Oh I hear what you are saying. I really do. My thing is….I’m abandoning what doesn’t (or hasn’t) work and picking up what has been working for me so far.Others can dash their hearts against the Assholes. I’m just over it. But of course I’m only speaking for myself. I guarantee you that such a switch will keep me from becoming the bitter angry jaded chick. If you’re a Nice Guy, find a woman that appreciates who you are. Assholes do 🙂

      • Nice guy revisited…

        Toya… Obviously a guy with Buddha swag over rules all the advice i am going to give…

        Two ways to go about this… Find the most attractive non-jerkiest guy you can find… and make the most if the adventure…

        Or you can get a guy with impeccable character & build him up… Be more masculine… It’s easier said than done…

        But both options are better than dealing with a genuine nice guy… Maybe when Buddha takes you to his utopia, women will value nice guys there… But not here….

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