I don’t get this whole dating thing. I know this has 100% to do with my personality (<—-this describes me exactly by the way) . I can be socially awkward and I’m too “straight to the point”. I have no idea how to be coy and even what I pass off as flirting is strictly a means to an end (the end most often being sex).
What adds to my handicap is that I have never technically dated. I mean EVER. I’ve had plenty of friends, friends with benefits, fewer boyfriends, and one husband. None of those situations provided me with the opportunity to fully learn proper dating protocol. Yes I call it dating protocol because it’s really that damn serious. There is all this stuff you have to master like the “getting to know you” conversations that I have no patience for because I’ve always dealt with long-term friends who already knew me. Or the flirting, which I can do but don’t (not often) because I already have a good idea when someone is interested in me so I feel like flirting with someone who is already interested in me is pointless. I’m not much for the emotional stuff and I respond to flattery with indifference. Yeah, socially awkward like I mentioned earlier. I need help. Like, really.
What I really don’t understand is when you are taking the time to get to know a person, it’s an unspoken (or spoken) understanding that you are interested in each other, but you are in those initial stages of that “getting to know you” period. Neither are really expecting anything, you are just testing the waters. Then all of a sudden the other party decides that a couple of common interest and a few pleasant conversations is grounds for a committed relationship.
WTF is that about??????? I don’t understand this part of the dating game. I refuse to believe that any person seeking a mature adult relationship is willing to base said relationship off something so fleeting. Things that are not even close to what is required to maintain a long-term relationship.True story. This has happened to me a few times. Even as recent as today, which is why I decided to finally sit down and write about it. I’ve been talking to someone. He has made it very clear that he is interested in me, which is ok I guess. We are still getting to know each other. The vibe has been cool. Light and laid back as I prefer it to be because I’m still feeling him out. Then out of the blue he gets all serious by asking me this
Could you see yourself with me?
Totally messed up the whole vibe. And of course it’s a loaded question. While he’s a cool person and I enjoy our conversations I haven’t gotten to know him enough to be able to fully assess whether I would casually date him let alone be in a monogamous committed relationship. And even that right there puts me in an interesting situation. So now I feel as though I have to tread lightly with this one because there are so many things he needs to learn about me yet he is already asking those serious questions.It doesn’t make sense.
I just don’t get it.
Obviously I have a lot to learn but the saddest thing is that I don’t want to have to learn it. I don’t care enough to want to, which says a whole lot about me and where my head is. I’m not looking to fall in love nor am I seeking a soul mate. I could really care less about whether I actively date or not and I certainly don’t want another committed relationship. Maybe I just want to find myself and have adventures. Yeah, I think I’ll leave this dating thing to the relationship experts. I’ll let them figure it out.