Today, at approximately 6pm, my friend will be boarding a plane heading to Seattle with no intentions of coming back to Vegas.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t totally bummed out about this. I am. It sucks.
This is my own hello, goodbye. My experience with impermanence and non attachment. This lesson is bullshit but I have to roll with it– Buddhism mandates it. Three bows and a smile and keep it pushing. Right.
It’s amazing how naturally and unexpectedly people can come into your life. Just six months ago I was at a stage where I felt as though I desperately needed a hiatus. I was on straight hermit mode and wanted nothing more than to disappear into the sunset. During that time I developed a random friendship. It seemed to come out of nowhere. They reached out to me and I was like “Hey, why not?”. I tend to flow with life’s current rather than swim against it, a pattern that can either help or harm me depending on where my current is heading. In a very short time this casual acquaintance transformed into a very close friendship. This is a big deal for me because I don’t have very many close friends. I don’t open myself up easily. I don’t like being vulnerable. Well I allowed this person into my circle and now they’re moving to Seattle.
As their friend, I am extremely happy for them and the opportunity they’ve been blessed with. I knew they weren’t happy here in Vegas and wanted a new job. As a selfish friend, I am sad that they are leaving me. Our friendship is not contingent on whether we live in the same city or not, it remains intact no matter what but I feel a loss nonetheless. Apparently I didn’t realize how much I valued them until I was faced with the reality of them leaving.
Three months I wrote about how beautiful the concept of hello, goodbye was. I remember writing
These simple greetings remind us of the impermanence of every moment. I think that if we remained mindful of this we would meet every moment we experience with appreciation, and we would be more willing to let our experiences go. We would understand that every moment is a gift, a gift not to be wasted.
Well…it doesn’t seem so grand now. Except for that last sentence about every moment being a gift not to be wasted. If I had known my friend was moving away I would have made an extra effort to spend more time with them (more time than we actually spent, lol). I did make it a point to let them know how much I value our friendship. I didn’t assume that they already knew that they were special to me. I am grateful for the things they taught me. Through them I learned a lot about myself. Their support helped me to reconnect with the things I’m passionate about and develop a new sense of confidence in my talents. I appreciate them for this.
For now, it looks as though our journey is taking different paths. I wish my friend well. They will be missed.