A few days ago while on Twitter I read a tweet so ignorant that, not only did it send me on a thirty minute rant, but I decided to write about relationship robbers.
Either young ladies or immature women tend to be relationship robber types. These are the types that like to pursue or get involved with men that are attached to someone else. See here’s the thing, when a young women is just discovering the power of her sex she often develops the attitude that she is so bad she can have any man she wants. This attitude is nothing more than an ego boost and is usually a phase that passes as the young lady grows into a mature adult woman.
Usually, but not always.
As a not so young woman myself nearing thirty I see that there are plenty of women my age, or older, that still carry the relationship robber mentality. When a woman is young it’s a bit more acceptable for her to walk around with the false belief that she has the ability to pull any man, regardless of whether he’s with someone or not. It’s expected that time and experience will allow her to grow out of this false belief but it doesn’t always happen.
Here’s what I see. When you’re young, it’s your ego that makes you want to be a relationship robber. When you become older, it’s a mix of immaturity and insecurity. Women are always on some competition -ish with each other, and what better prize than someone’s boyfriend/husband. When a man leaves his SO for another woman, permanently or temporarily, it validates this idea that “since he chose me over her I must be better than her”. It’s territorial pissing at its finest and the more a woman places her self-worth in whether she’s in a relationship or not the more likely she is to be a relationship robber.
The funny thing if that it’s very easy for me to spot these types out because I used to be the same way. From the age of eighteen until I was about twenty-two I walked around extremely confident in my bad chickness. I just knew I could snatch any man I wanted and that’s exactly what I did. If he had a girl, even better (disclaimer: with what very little scruples I possessed I never messed with married men though). As I got older my paradigm shifted and I stopped placing my self-worth in how many men I attracted. Then a very important lesson was drive home with my last tryst. I was involved with a man who had a live-in girlfriend. At first, I enjoyed the fact that he wanted me and that I could get him to come over whenever I wanted him to. The self-satisfaction didn’t last long though as I realized that just because I could pull a man didn’t necessarily mean that he would stay, or want to be in a committed relationship with me. It was at that moment that I finally matured in this area and made the conscious decision to seek something more tangible. I stopped sleeping with attached men and I let go of the “I can take your man” attitude that was hindering me. As with any thief, there is no honor in seeking to take what does not belong to you. And you have a better chance of keeping something that you’ve earned.
Besides, in the land of robbers there will always be a thief better skilled than you. So why even go there?