The other day I was talking with my mother about a situation between me and someone who I’ve been struggling with for some time. After hearing about the latest conflict and sensing the frustration in my voice she stated in a very matter of fact way, “You can’t save everyone. I know you seek to help others because that’s who you are, but there’s only so much you can do if someone isn’t willing to listen or do their part to grow.”
Her comment made me pause. What does she mean I can’t save everyone? More than that, I wasn’t even conscious that this was what I was seeking to do.
She brought something very interesting to my attention. Not only is my mother right but she has me summed up very accurately. I’m always placed in the role of caretaker. I either put myself in that position or others see me in that role. Its natural instinct for me to want to help others in any way I can. If someone comes to me and asks for something and its within my power to make it happen I do it. There is nothing wrong with being this way, as long as there is balance and this is where I fall short. I’ve realized lately that I am so focused on helping others that I make unnecessary sacrifices. I hold myself back in order to propel others. Of course some appreciate what I do for them while others don’t, which is something I expect. I’m not naive to expect gratitude for every single act of kindness. The issue for me, is when others fight me on what I’m trying to do for them or treat me as though I’m the enemy. The thing with this is that I’m not one of those busy body types. I never try to help someone without their permission. Yet when someone seeks my help then turns on me, treats me poorly, or questions my intentions that is when I get frustrated.
My mother is right. I can’t save everyone. Not that I believe that people are a lost cause because I’m always hopeful for others, however there is only so much I can do. And there are cases where there is nothing I can do at all. While I’ll continue to help others I’ll leave off the sacrificing or holding myself back. Superwoman Toya is officially on hiatus until further notice.
*takes off cape and hangs it up in closet*