The title of this post was inspired by the song “Window Seat”. All hail Erykah Badu. One lyric from that woman can speak a lifetime of truth.
I’m currently in a place where I feel the need to just be in the present moment. This is not just because of my Buddhist practice, it’s simply where I’m at these days.
I don’t want to time travel.
Meaning I don’t want to constantly revisit the past nor do I wish to have to think about future. I don’t know what that’s looking like for me. All I know is what I’m experiencing right now. I’ve come from a very painful place. The last year has been extremely difficult for me and every time I’m made to remember where I was it puts me right back there. On the flip side I’m in the process of making plans that are going to take me far away from everything I’ve ever known for at least a couple of years. The thought of that is intimidating enough without others saying/doing things to make me anxious about it. I simply want to enjoy life, as it stands, with the people I currently have around me.
Just as I don’t want to revisit the past I don’t want to be that person I was a year ago. Nor do I want to be treated like her. She’s not who I am anymore and even the person I am now is not the person I’m going to be a year from now.
Time traveling is an extremely draining process. Not letting go of the past (especially the negative aspects) and conjuring up what may be often takes away from what is now. You miss what’s there and you don’t even notice it enough to fully appreciate it.
I’m done time traveling.