On occasion I check out Until I Get Married. It’s a blog written from a man’s prospective. I don’t agree with everything the author writes but it’s pretty insightful.
Yesterday there was a post titled Before Her, There Were Other Fine Women. It basically challenged a woman’s assumption that 1) we have better taste in women than men and 2) that a man’s standards in choosing a woman were low before he got with her.
It wasn’t that last challenge but the first one that got my wheels turning. Especially when a female reader came back with a very in-depth response. To paraphrase she said
“Women’s taste in other women IS better than men. Men base their initial attraction on physical alone. Woman judge other women on more than just physical, even when they take their first glance. Sure, we see her face, shape, clothing and hair. Then we assess her again…Women are much more intuitive and thoughtful than men and because of it that assessment took us less than a minute. On that alone, we are better judge and therefore our taste is better”
I must say I agreed with the respondent. She’s right. Women are more intuitive than men and that ability allows us to catch the things that men miss, or ignore. More than that our observations are more insightful BECAUSE we are woman. We aren’t distracted by the things that men are. The type of stuff that cause them to miss key things. Kind of like how men are better at pointing out the “good guy” than women are.
I experienced this with my ex. Over the summer we (very briefly) stopped speaking due to a conflict that arose when I pointed out some less than flattering things about a “friend” of his he was spending time with. I didn’t focus on her looks but instead brought to his attention some pretty obvious negative character attributes. Now I’ll throw out my disclaimer and say that I was (and am) not on some evil ex-girl hater shit. I am all for giving credit where credit is due, even if it is a girl an ex is seeing. Mine has had some pretty good ones, both looks and personality. However this one wasn’t one of them and I said something and all hell broke loose.
See the thing is, I picked up on some things that he either didn’t see or chose to ignore. But this example isn’t the first time. There have been a few occasions where I’ve spotted the sneaky friend. The jealous home girl. The undercover trouble maker. The thirsty chick. The needy clingy girl. While I’m scoping all this out all the guy is seeing is a cute face and a phat ass. Not the personality the comes with that cute face and phat ass. Or the potential train wreck. I would think that my taste is on point because it includes both looks AND character. I’m fond of saying that a beautiful person does only so much for me if I can’t hold a conversation with them or if their personality doesn’t match whats on the outside.
Do I catch everything? No. I’ve been wrong in my assessment of people a few times. Also I understand that everyone’s taste varies. Plus, I’m well aware that it doesn’t much matter to a guy what a woman’s personality is if he’s placed her in the jump-off category. In that case looks is all that matters. But with that, the question is intent and that can be a whole separate blog post in itself.
All in all it was a very interesting topic and worth me expressing my thoughts.