It looks like after a couple of interludes I’m back to blogging about relationships. I find this kind of ironic since I am no where close to being in anything considered a committed relationship and the one I was in…well…the keyword here is was.
In any rate, this blog post was a special request from one of my Sorors. Last week I woke up and saw the following Facebook status:
No this fool did not call me at 530 in the AM asking me “whats up”?!?!? After all that shyt you were talking last month?! *while doing the Heisman on that hoe* Nigga PULEASE!
I jokingly asked if I should blog about this to which I got a very ardent “YES!” So here we go….
….They always come back. If you were a good woman, if the love was real they will always come back. If what you have to offer them is unique and genuine, their heart-strings won’t allow them to roam too far for too long. It can be ten months or ten years but they will come back.
This was my very first lesson in relationships and something I picked up at an early age. My teacher was my high school sweetheart (the boy I lost my virginity to and essentially chased for five years after). We started off as really good friends and then stumbled into a romantic relationship. We still to this day can’t say exactly how we ended up as more than friends. I knew he loved me. He never had to say it. I also understood he was male, with all the male tendencies to run around. He never technically cheated on me. He’d just break up with me to chase after someone else and then pop back in the picture when he got bored with his latest fling. The first time it happened he’d moved out of the state. It was four months when he called me out the blue. “What’s up?”. As though we’d just talked the day before. Of course we conversed as though we had just talked the day before. Just before we got off the phone I heard a very nervous “I love you.” The first time he had ever told me those words. But I already knew it.
What followed was five years of this same pattern. We’d be “together” ( or committed as two nineteen-year-olds could be), break up for a while, not speak for months before I got THE phone call that would result in us getting back “together”. This never bothered me. I was secure in my knowledge that no matter who he got involved with his heart would always remain mine. I also utilized our breaks to their fullest potential by exploring and doing my own thing.
While this was all gravy as a teenager it surely doesn’t fly as a mature adult. On one hand, a grown woman expects a grown man to be somewhat settled, know what he wants. On the other hand, I recognize that it takes men slightly longer than women to “figure it out”. Their heads (both of them) and their mouths can tell you it’s over and they can walk away, but the heart will always win in the end, hands down. No matter how many times they do the Heisman on that hoe. If they come back, it’s meant to be. If they don’t come back, it wasn’t meant to be. Either way it’s as it should be. As far as waiting…it’s up to the woman to decide if it’s worth it-if she wants to answer THE phone call. A person doesn’t want to keep going through the same patterns with someone. Especially if those patterns leave you hurt. However I do believe that people can change for the better.
Men tend to think that the grass is greener on the other side but the grass is greener where you water it. Maybe that 5am phone call means he finally figured it out….