Bag Lady of Romance

Standard

Recycle. Reduce. Reuse

I have to thank my girl Voz for the inspiration behind this blog. Her witty cynical wisdom is always on point.

I guess this is a slight continuation on my blog about rebound relationships. While that post was pretty generic, consisting of personal observation and experience and not directed at anyone specifically, this one focuses on those that choose to immediately pick up a discarded relationship, while it’s still warm.

I’ve mentioned before that there are some people who get off on staking claim on something that was not originally theirs, a primal territorial pissing if you will.  I find women to be more prone this type of behavior than men. Men don’t like to share and prefer to be the original owners of something. Women are entirely different creatures. Many of us are driven by the competition and those that are less secure than others will feel some sort of pride in the sense of ownership of a man who another is interested in. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the man himself but the attitude that “I have someone who SHE wants”. This is where you will see what I call “relationship peacocking”, where the particular woman will  go out of her way to make the relationship more than what it is. She will brag. She will show out. She will put extras on it. She will take every opportunity to talk about her relationship to everyone that will listen as a way to incite the jealousy from others that will boost her suffering self-esteem.

So what does this all have to do with rebound relationships? Well, territorial pissing and relationship peacocking is exactly the type of behavior that is often seen in fledgling rebound relationships. A wise person wanting a long-term commitment with someone recently out of a relationship will give it time and build a solid foundation. Most people will want something fresh and new without old residue clinging to it. Those without that wisdom don’t mind being the rebound. The Bag Lady of Romance. There is nothing original about a rebound relationship. It will exhibit the same patterns, the same characteristics of the previous relationship and the Bag Ladies of Romance are the collectors of this compost of companionship. The compost before its turned that is. Yet no matter how much one recycles, reduces, and reuses the product will never be the original, nor as good a quality. Cheaper, yes. Durable, no.

So while some are content on collecting something old I would rather  focus on creating something new.

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2 thoughts on “Bag Lady of Romance

  1. Lakingya R.

    OMG! I LOVE.LOVE.LOVE THIS POST!! THe peacocking had me dying! But on a serious note, you are so right. I remember trying to date someone who had rencently ended a 4 1/2 year relationship. We had been friends for a while and there was ALWAYS something there but the timing was never right. Well, we finally had our chance at “love”. It didn’t make it through the summer. He was so still in love with that girl it wasn’t EVEN funny. And I refuse to play back-seat, jump-off, wading pool whatever you wanna call it for anybody but especially a memory. I will not allow you to drown your sorrows in my coochie (that’s not what its made for).I’m glad I made the decision to walk away because had I slept with him (which was all he wanted anyway),I would have been doing all I can too save face when he would have left to get back with her (they are currently engaged and living together).

    I find this blog hella interesting because I refused to play into the madness she occassionally tries to bring to my door. Only in public of course, because we run in tight circles and are often at the same events, I notice that she does a lot of that peacocking. I just shake my head and go about my business because :
    1. Sweetie you already have him, so I hope you’re not doing all this for MY benefit…
    2. Our time came and went, I don’t want him anymore.
    3. All that EXTRA that you’re doing is causing unneccessary drama in YOUR recently salvaged relationship (he gets pissed and treats her life when she is acting a donkey in public embrassing everyone around them and since I don’t feed into it, she is the only one left looking like a fool)
    Kudos soror this was one of the best blogs that you’ve ever wrote! Oh and Jesus speaks on this too…its called turning the other cheek 🙂

  2. Yes Jesus does, lol. You brought up a good point though. The more a person peacocks, the more insecurity they must have about their relationship because, really, who are you trying to convince right? Others? Themselves? It’s a very sad place to be in my opinion.

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